should I better listen to my heart or to my mind...'?

...what should I do...

I´m really confused at this time...i mean...i had so much butterflies in my tummy...but of course he broke my heart  over and over again...but fucking damn shit I LOVE THIS GUY with all my heart...i love his brown eyes...his big nose and his little thin body but what I love most are his kiss...when he kiss me its like a big firework inside me...but i hate it when he drunk so much alcohol...i hate it when he come to me und just want to kiss me then...its to difficult for me I JUST WANNA RUN!!!